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Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Anger – Focus on Healing
Anger and abuse in relationships about guilt: “I feel bad, and it’s your fault.” Even if people who are angry, angry, or emotionally abused recognize their behavior, they may blame it on their partner: “You’re pushing my buttons,” or, “I could have reacted more, but I’m human, and look what you did. !”
Angry and abusive partners are often anxious because of body temperature. From the time they were small children, they have always had a sense of fear that things will go wrong and they will not succeed. They try to control their environment to avoid negative feelings of failure and inadequacy.
The strategy of trying to control others fails even if they are strong, for the simple reason that the main cause of their anxiety is within themselves, not in their environment. It comes from one of two sources: fear of failure or fear of being hurt, being isolated, and lacking.
The Silent Bully
Not all emotional abuse involves yelling or criticism. More common ways are “pulling out” – a partner who is distracted or self-absorbed – or “stonewalling” – a partner who does not want to accept the other person’s point of view.
While verbal abuse and other forms of emotional abuse can be equally common between men and women, stonewallers are almost exclusively men. Biology and social conditioning make it easy for men to suppress emotions. The corpus callosum – the part of the brain that connects its two hemispheres is smaller in men, which makes it easier for them to block information from the right hemisphere that is emotionally oriented. On top of that small biological difference, the social situation encourages analysis, the man with no emotions on the one hand or the silent and strong type on the other.
A partner with a wall can’t put you down. However, he will punish you for disagreeing with him by not even considering your point of view. If you listen at all, you do so indifferently or impatiently.
An abusive husband says, “Do whatever you want, just leave me alone.” You tend to be a workaholic, a couch potato, a womanizer, or preoccupied with sports or other activities. He tries to deal with his inadequacies about relationships by simply not trying – no attempt means failure.
Both stonewalling and disassembly techniques can make you feel:
o Unseen and unheard
o It is not attractive
o As you do not count
o As a single parent
What Are All Types of Bullying Similar?
Whether overt or silent, all forms of abuse stem from a lack of empathy; you stop caring about how you feel. Compassion is the key to marriage; sympathetic failure is its heart disease.
It would be very painful if your partner did not care about your feelings. But when you were in love, he cared a lot. So now it feels like a betrayal when he doesn’t care or try to understand. Not the person you married. Failure to empathize can feel like abuse.
Dangerous Practices in Anger and Abuse: Walking in Eggshells
The most subtle aspect of bullying is not the obvious reaction of fear when yelling, swearing, criticizing or other degrading behavior. It’s an adjustment you make to try to prevent those painful episodes. You walk on eggshells to keep the peace or figure out the connection.
Women are more vulnerable to the negative effects of going on eggshells because of their greater vulnerability to anxiety. Many brave women engage in constant self-criticism and self-criticism to keep from “pushing her buttons.” Emotionally abused women can re-think themselves to the point where they feel like they’ve thrown themselves into a deep hole.
Recovering from walking on eggshells requires taking the focus off of repairing your relationship with your partner and placing it squarely on your own healing. The good news is that the most powerful form of healing comes from within you. You can draw on your greatest inner resources by connecting your deepest values to your everyday emotions. This will make you feel more valuable, confident, and powerful, no matter what your partner is doing.
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#Emotional #Abuse #Verbal #Abuse #Anger #Focus #Healing