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Just How Big Is This Onion – The Releasing Of Fear
I have recently shed a large layer of fear. By doing that, I realized that this is what I am going through here; it has to be the Walla Walla Special. An onion with endless layers, that tends to make my eyes water and the smell of it makes my toes curl.
First let me explain what I mean when I talk about releasing fear-based beliefs. Many years ago I began to examine all the agreements, habits, practices, beliefs and practices that I have accepted over the years on my spiritual path. Little by little I began to understand that connected to many of these things were deep, sometimes invisible thoughts of inadequacy, inadequacy or denial of the Almighty Omnipresent Omni-intelligent source of my being. For the sake of convenience let’s call him GOD. If GOD belongs to all those “Os” and I was created like him, don’t I also have all those things? So when I participate in an action or a belief that clearly or externally is the opposite I am telling the Universe, Spirit, GOD that I do not believe that I was created like him and that I am not enough or somehow not worthy. What I can say about participating in these activities is that I do this in order to increase what is impossible to increase. ALL POWERFUL ALL PRESENT ALL INTELLIGENT. The only thing I can do to increase IT in my life is yes; to admit that I am the One.
Now that’s been said let’s tell a story. This story is a little on the side of Woo Woo. Try not to judge me as I let you into my world of little craziness. You don’t have to believe everything I say here but know that it has led me far down the path of light and love.
This particular adventure began as a quest to discover what a shaman was. I have spent years listening to “The Four Agreements” on CD where Don Miguel Ruiz refers to shamans and the shamanic path. In his book “The Four Agreements”, Don Miguel Ruiz, writes about “dedication to the angel of death”. He mentioned the shaman’s way as a way to overcome “our law book” and surrender to the “angel of death”. I was curious, I had never heard of the word shaman. So in my down time I will Google shaman and read about them and their practices. I thought it might be an easy way to deal with my demons (contracts or law book). Then I had to find another one, meet it, get guidance from another one.
Actually the day I found the shaman was on the full moon of December or “Long Night Moon”. I was sitting at my work desk getting ready to go home and for the first time I decided to Google Shaman, Grayslake (that’s the name of my town). Down and look I’m smitten. There was a shaman who held sessions at a healing center in my town. I called and there was only one place left, so I made an appointment without knowing what to expect. Until that moment the closest I had ever had an energy healing session of any kind was reflexology on a cruise ship.
I got to my appointment, sat down at a table with a normal looking white guy (not what I expected) and then the wild and crazy ride began. There were tears, laughter, spitting, choking, copying of numbers and formulas, resetting of vibrational codes. I was told I was a pleiadian from another planet and he and I have known each other for many lifetimes. She cried telling me how much she missed me. I was told to be a powerful healer and this time of my life I would go to Colorado to bring and strengthen new healing powers. He saw 2 lights of power, coming to the world, which is near me. (My niece gave birth to a son that night and my daughter gave birth to a son a week later). He removed things from my body with the power he could only see, and fought with my ex-husband who was not in the room. This went on for 45 minutes. I don’t think I said more than five words; I actually fell asleep and opened my eyes. The room had a golden yellow color to it, his face transformed into many faces. All I could think was WHAT THE @%^&* IS THIS! Then he gave me my sacred code. It was 6 pages of symbols and numbers. He stacked them in order, placed the sheet with the number 3.17 on top and placed it in a protective plastic sleeve. I was told to sleep with it and sit on it and continue to sit on it. It would be my partner. I was advised that the number 3.17 and symbols will continue to activate my vibrational code; they can change my current DNA. I left that night with the deepest and most uncomfortable “WTF” I’ve ever felt. You know the kind that make you laugh and cry at the same time.
I was in shock and awe. What had I just gotten myself into? I couldn’t believe I had spent money on a crazy man, with a crazy message. Who was he, is that really what a shaman does? I never saw him again and he never went back to that treatment center. Sometimes I wonder if he was real.
So does all this have to do with onions? As I mentioned before, I have taken big steps to gently remove my life from fear-based beliefs and actions. I enjoy participating in an event that connects me to the spirit; I love the scent of sage and Palo santo as a reminder that I am made of perfect white light that cleanses all vibrational energies to a level of perfection. I love to enjoy the power and healing of crystals, mountains, lakes, rivers, oceans, plains, animals, birds, the sky, the moon, the sun and the universe. But I know, that I know that none of those things make me perfect, make me great or heal me. I am made whole, I am made perfect and I am made wonderful. It would be denying my source, my spirit, my GOD, to think that any of those things could change or enhance the perfection of GOD. I am the perfection of my creator; I forget sometimes and need reminders.
This short paragraph is where I get to admit my little craziness. Here’s the thing… I’ve been sick of sitting on that number and pile of papers for the past two years? Why? I don’t know, but I did it religiously. Wow, I’m glad I got it off my chest.
Then a trusted advisor advised me to burn them. To say the least, I was impressed. My thoughts went like this; what, nooo I can’t burn them, they have My Power, My Number, My Symbols. What will happen? Will I be disconnected from my download connection? When I continued with myself spiritually I slowly began to see the light. Holy, I was sitting in fear all this time and I didn’t even know what it was.
I don’t see the whole of any number. My number is infinite, I have no end. I tell people every day that I do not lead therapy; I say that I facilitate healing from an omnipresent, omnipotent, intelligent source. We were all created THAT. We are all entitled to that fulfillment and excellence. That skittish son of a gun locked me in again. I sat blindly on those numbers and wrote about fearlessness, learned about fearlessness, meditated on fearlessness and was taught about fearlessness. How crazy is that? Another layer of my endless onion went. The young man made a layer of smell in the sky above as he fell.
I think it was time. I created an event; I beat my new drum, burned sage, sprayed myself with Ohm spray, put a few crystals in my pocket, said the rosary, took out my prayer cards, played Ohm Namah Shivaya Ohm on high and burned that pile of papers. I took a moment to allow myself to remember who I really am. A perfect person.
By the way, if I were a number I would be pi. I went on to meet a few good shamanic practitioners and continue to school myself with books and classes on the shamanic path.
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